Being the President is too hard

Now, look.

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. This whole leading-the-country gig's turning out to be a bit more work than I thought. I mean, this is like, really hard. I figured I'd be sitting in meetings, signing a few papers, bossing people around, you know. It's so not like that. I've got to make big decisions. Like decisions that affect people. Their lives and stuff. And I could really mess things up. I am starting to feel super stressed. And people wonder why I want to smoke. OMG.

The hardest part is the back-stabbing. That really hurts. For real. I just don't get it. It used to be that everyone was like, "Oh, Obama, we love you! Be our President! We worship you! You the man!" Now just because I've broken a few promises and my stimulus plan has no possibility of actually helping the economy, some of my peeps are getting sorta hostile. I used to think this Messiah thing was pretty sweet, but now it's dragging me down. I am only human, after all. I'm allowed to make a few (dozen) mistakes, right? I don't have experience to speak of. Cut me a little slack, people.

And I just have one question for you. What the hell is an earmark?

On the up side, I'm learning so much from my BFFs. Like about stem cells (just use them in research, it's no biggie) and financial bonuses (dude, everyone at AIG is loving on me now).

So, you know, I might do okay after all. It could happen. Like Bill Pullman said in Independence Day, "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" Okay, maybe not that last part.

Peace and love,

President B.O.